friday, december 8, 2023

today is my last day in toronto before I go back home for a few weeks for a break :3 a lil sad but I'm gladd I'll be away from the cold for a bit at the very least lol, and I'm really looking forward to seeing my cat n friends n family :> the past few days I've been exhausted getting my last project done but I'm really happy with how it came out! it's a textile-based piece of the triplets of sugawara denju tenarai kagami, inspired by ukiyo-e woodblock prints. I wanted to try and make a "painting" exclusively out of textiles and it was a really interesting approach to create a dimensional piece with various textures (: hoping to experiment with this sort of art more in the future! here's a picture of it:

this semester has been a lot more fun compared to the last, I felt it really changed my perspective on what you can do with various materials and textiles and still consider it within the realm of art and fashion. similarly, I made this cage skirt from metal plumbers tape and crocheted wire, chainmail, seed bead pieces, etc. it was something I wanted to make for a while as I was inspired by a certain cage skirt kaya wore in 2018(?) i'm not sure, I somehow can not find the source image/info anywhere idek where I found it. anyways, it really pushed me to challenge what is considered jewelry and adornment, which is what my prof had been encouraging us to do throughout the semester. here is the piece and the kaya inspiration photo:

I'm happy both of my profs really liked my projects, my material sensibilities prof even wanted to take a picture of the woven piece and recommended me to check out kawashima textile school in japan if I wanted to apply for an international student course. it's...pretty expensive so I'm not sure about the likelihood of it lol but I would definitely like to experiment with various japanese weaving techniques, as well as embroidery/mending. and my jewelry design teacher was impressed w my skirt and said I should be proud >:D which I am heheh. even tho I came to school with the intention of going more into conventional "fasion design" and sewing garments n whatnot, I think this semester made me realize that what I love most about fashion and textiles is the unconventional experimentation and making things out of whatever you have around, which is what I'm used to as I typically already DIY/upcycle clothes. not much else to say here but I'm just happy to have found various other methods of being creative that have grown my love in fashion ((: I should be meeting up with some friends later to hang out before I go, so I will end this post here ^^

sunday, november 12, 2023

aaaa long time no update :")) 2 months to be exact I guess! I have been busy with school and dealing with other things but want to try and commit to getting back into my blog! anyways, here are some pictures of my outfit today :> finished this skirt last night and I like how it turned out! kinda hard to see in the pictures but it's cool, no pattern drafting tbh I just go at it and hope for the best n make adjustments as I'm working on it. and thankfully I'm picking up a mannequin tomorrow so I'll be able to make clothes sm better by having a figure I can actually make adjustments on instead of trying stuff on myself :"))

anyways, I like to be open on here because I view this as a personal little escape, but at the same time there are some things I very much want to keep private to myself and my personal life so, I wont go much into detail of things that have been happening recently. my thoughts on the matter, however... all I have to say is be fucking smart about your actions and be your own person :") lol. very inspirational I know... anways anyways, I'm gonna try working on doing a small j-goth dj set to upload to youtube, I realize I need more of my stuff out there so people know what to expect if I wanna be involved in more events! will probably be about an hour long but I'm excited to cook something up real quick heheh. I really wanna work on putting together a vkei video dance party too...someday. I think there is a growing vkei/jfashion scene in toronto n I'm excited about ittttt and I don't wanna do stupid shit like I did last weekend to taint my reputation so imma get back in the groove of things n focus on my passion projects >:00 wooooooo

tuesday, september 12, 2023

ahhh I knew I would be bad with updating this section gahh but I will try my best to post once a week ;__; anyways, quite a bit has happened since my last post! school has started again and I'm enjoying my classes so far, especially jewelry design :D planning to make a 1920s flapper-esque hat for our first project w/ seed beads...got some sillay ideas. anyways..school aside...I did my first little dj gig for the harajuku walk after party on sunday!! tried to take a few pictures on my ds..not the best but it's something nonetheless :P

it was a really fun dayyy but to be honest, I was also pretty anxious beforehand and even overwhelmed when I saw the all of the sleaze group sitting together outside after I finished the second part of my set + near the end before I went home ;__; though I was happy to see everyone ofc, the big group setting always freaks me out and I feel oddly disconnected in a way. but anyways...I try to not let that get to me. I just went for a little walk lol. it's probably best to not get into it much...even though I kinda want to just ramble about whatever on here, I do remember that I have a digital footprint regardless of the fact that this site is small and niche and I doubt people really look at it lol. buut yes! I remember the positives of the night in the end~ everyone going wild to illuminati after I transitioned from new vogue children was amazing to see lmao. and me n dolly both playing incoherents is what the people truly needed. ohhh and ofc the karaoke at the end....had to play honey vanity of course. was very representative of my sorta melancholic mood at that time + an iconic song in my own LORE....huhuhh. well, I'm getting pretty sleepy now, it's almost midnight. idk why I have been feeling tired earlier recently, but I will allow myself to then wake up early to get some work done before school then. will probably get my kei-con after party set ready so I don't have to worry in advance. I'm excited to be playing for people at EVENTS finally, I hope I can make vkei parties become an actual regular thing of some sort...this has been an amazing moment ♥

thursday, august 31, 2023

oi, I am finally starting to use this section of my siteeee it's been a long time coming...gah. this entry will probably be a bit long :') hhh. anyways, I'll share some of what I have planned for this site and just other projects I have going on in general! and some other random thoughts I have to get off my chest :'D but to make these entries look more..interesting...I'll try to add picture(s) with each one. here are some I just took in my mind palace~ I plan on using my DSi for most of the photos I take n share on here.

anyways, I have been meaning to actually pull through with working on this site for a while, but I kept forgetting about it or putting it off...now that I look at the creation date, it was just over 2 years ago I made this site lol. I've been working on a lot of cool creative projects recently and felt inspired to start up on this again so...here it is! as of typing this, I still need to start on the gallery section, but most everything else has been worked on to some degree and I'll of course keep adding as I go.

I'm glad to finally have a space for me to ramble online, but still have it hidden. I think I stopped sharing much about what I was doing since I left vkei twt (which was...for the best honestly), and even though I share stuff on cf on instagram w/ closer online friends, I missed creating that space for me to openly talk about whatever, even if most of the time on twitter it was just about hora but aaaa, anyways...even though this is still "hidden," anyone can access it really if they are able to somehow dig through finding this, which so far has been just a few other vkei old school web enjoyers I think lol. but besides those few people and the friends I'll share this with, I'm not sure who'll come across this, but I don't care much. I'm proud to finally be creating something very personal that social media doesn't offer anymore. If it wasn't an inconvenience, I would just escape hereeeee.

anyways...projects! besides this, I'm still focused on making accessories for circus of peril (have another vending thingy in october wooo) + I am starting to do some DJing mwahaha. practicing with a controller has been a lot of fun and gives me the ability to do multiple effects at once. also despite the vast amount of vkei n jrock I'm into, I'm realizing it can be a little challenging curating songs to try and make it "palatable" to everyone...but I think I'm also overthinking it too much at times. maybe one day I'll say fuck it and throw in da'vid no shito:al...silleazy as hell. no, probably just silly. regardless, I have most everything ready for the harajuku walk afterparty so I think that should be fun ((: and I may also be doing something on the 30th hehehoho.

also, the impulsive move to go and get my m1 was a successsss so when I'm not drowning in other work I will look into practicing and get my own lil bike. I have a few more job applications I want to submit to my school and am hoping that I get something so I can save up for a lil guy o: need to free myself from the godforsaken TTC. trying not to panic too much over getting a job but I have a good feeling I will at least get something (':

I was about to wrap this up but I completely forgot to mention my progress with T! it's been just over a month since I started, I'm doing my next shot tomorrow. I had probably one of the greatest moments of euphoria this week as I was noticing my body actually starting to physically change now. I've developed some muscle in my arms which looks fucking siiiick, I need to work out more and try to build it up just a bit more than solely relying on the T. my fat is also starting to redestribute and surprisingly my chest has gotten smaller, which I didn't even think would happen from when I was researching prior to starting T. ik it won't be much more since it's mostly breast tissue rather than fat but it was still fucking cool to notice since that's one of my biggest areas of dysphoria. and my voice is now noticeably a bit deeper, I didn't even know T-cold was a thing and that it happens when your vocal chords are starting to thicken..so that's why my throat and sinuses were a little messed up for a couple days gah. I'm doing my 5th shot tomorrow so I'm excited for even more progress!

that's uhhhh all for now, I'll be making entries here a couple times a week or at least once a week so I can share more of my thoughts and what I have going on. I'm.. sleepy but...I will probably find something else to work on for a bit before I pass out. aaaaaaa